Random acts of stupidness

Ok. So anyone who knows anything about my week this week will know that I have been a little on the sick side. Started off with a sore throat Tuesday morning which progressed pretty quickly into yucky shit, and yes, that is the medical term for it.

So Wednesday I woke up and overnight it was as though someone had replaced my tonsils with razorblades (OK I don't have tonsils. So maybe they just filled that void). Either way was pretty shitty. Then the hot/cold flushes started, and seeing as I know it's not menopause, I figured I was in for the long haul. Don't get me wrong - it's not like I think menopause isn't a long-ass, dragged out shitty thing to go through, or in my case look forward to at some point...but anyway. The point I make is that the hot/cold flushes were fever related and not menopausal. Phew. What the fuck am I talking about?

Anyway. I was hoping when I went to bed Wednesday night for the 18th time (it's a lie, I slept on the couch, I always sleep on the couch when I am sick...the point I am making is that I spent most of Wednesday napping and snacking on Mum's home delivered chicken soup), I was hoping that the bug would have flown off into the sunset by the time I woke up.

Nope. Thursday morning was not a good one either. I figured I should probably get to the doctor's, so that I get sick leave if nothing else, so off I toddled. Waited in the waiting room for about an hour (I was booked into the dr's 2nd timeslot for the day...how the fuck can the dr be running an hour late by his 2nd appt??) Anyway - verdict: respiratory infection. Fucken lovely. So one prescription for antibiotics, a Doctor Certificate covering me til next week and instructions to rest, rest, rest later, I left. I was pretty hungry by this stage so figured I would quickly duck home and eat before going to the shops to fill script as I needed to buy a few things and also pick up a large quantity of DVD's to get me through the next few days. Went home, had lunch (can't remember exactly what it was but most likely chicken and broccoli - just a stab in the dark) but first did what I do when I enter my house ALL the time. I put my nice, snuggly bathrobe on over my clothes. My house always seems so cold and my robe is sooo warm and comfy that I literally wear it ALL THE TIME.

Anyways so I eat, potter around a bit (probably checked facebook to make sure I haven't missed anything in the last 2 hours) and generally pissfart around for a bit. Then I decide to take myself to the shops to do all the stuff I need to do. So I pull into the carpark and drive around for about 10 laps - yep I have turned up at our local shopping mall on fucking pension day, at lunchtime. Stupid, stupid me. I give up on parking anywhere within a 2km radius of any of the entries to the shops and just park wherever I can. I disembark from my vehicle (how Magnum PI does that sound!!) and start walking towards the shops. I had a few funny looks but figured that was just due to my 'I haven't been near a brush or makeup for days and haven't seen the outside world for 48 hours and I have puffier eyes than a puffer fish' look. I keep walking, and walk into the entry of the shopping centre, which is a long-corridor like entry. More people looking funny at me. Still doesn't gel why. I mean haven't these fuckers ever been sick before?

And then it hits me.

I am still wearing my robe. On top of my clothes. Not only do I look frazzled but I also look like I may have just escaped some kind of institution. So before (hopefully) anyone can recognise me (did I mention the gym I work at is about 800m from said shopping centre and my house is maybe another 1km on top of that so I actually know a fair few ppl in the area) I make my way quick as a ninja (maybe not as discreet) to the other side of the carpark and get in my car. I quicky get the robe off then drive about another 18 laps to find another carspot as FAR away from the first as I could, at a different entry and make my way in, as though nothing had happened.

The end.

PS - sorry about the random ending, bit of an anti climax I know. I was just trying to make the point of my stupid act of the week.